You'll be glad to know...

that I'm almost done with The Swan Thieves

and the laundry

and I'm over the whole house rant I posted yesterday

and I forgot to call my sister back

and Will got to play third base in the last game of the regular season

and my husband is yelling at the TV again. 

Just Ugly

My seven-year-old son Jack's Sunday School teacher, who knows that we are in the middle of house hunting, asked me if we were looking at a house with a pool.  "Yes, " I said, "Why?"  She said that Jack had told the whole Sunday School class that we might buy a house that has a pool, because everyone was talking about going swimming.  He is obviously as excited about that prospect as I am, but the conversation with his teacher put me on the defensive.  I told her that I was afraid if we bought this house, people who knew that Justin was a pastor would see it and look at each other knowingly and say, "That sure is a fine house the Kendricks bought."  Now, if you are not from the southern part of the United States, I will translate that sentence for you:  That preacher boy must be getting paid way too much to afford a house with a pool.  Well, I am showing the ugly in me just by saying that, because if God made it possible to buy a nice house (I feel compelled to point out now that it backs up to a busy road, the room layout is awkward, and the bathrooms are tiny - that may be why we can consider it in our price range), and we end up buying that house, I need to just rejoice in his goodness and not get all wadded up about what congregants may or may not be thinking.

It reminds me of a time about 13 years ago when Justin and I were joining a church in Charlotte, where we lived when we first got married.  The pastor and his wife invited all of the new members of the church to their house for a potluck supper.  We got to his house, which was pretty new, and all I could think about was how did a pastor have such a nice house.  And it was a nice house, but for Pete's sake, why did it matter to me what his house looked like?  The irony of that scene and the situation we are in now is not lost on me.  I would like to smack that little 23-year-old me upside the head and say, "Be glad for him!"

In a country where everyone lives and buys to excess, it is hard to know any longer what is appropriate when buying a house.  I pray that whatever we do, we will be good stewards of the resources God has given us, and not worry about what everyone else thinks.

Giveaway

Recently as a part of our involvement with the Spring Fling festival in downtown Spartanburg, we had a drawing for $50 worth of gift cards.  It was just another way to show love to the folks in Sparkle City.  I was tapped to be the one to call the winner so we could send her the cards.  Well, I talked to her today, and she was so excited!  I mean, she wasn't screaming or anything, but you could tell we had just made her day.  It was such a great feeling to be the one to deliver the good news!  I had kinda been dreading it (I'm such an introvert), but it was so much fun to hear the joy and surprise in her voice; I decided I would like a job where that's what I did all day.  Just calling up total strangers, telling them they've won something great.  I could be Oprah! but without all of the crazy I-lost-400-pounds-and-then-ate-every-doughnut-in-Krispy-Kreme TV shows.

Anyway, the thought occurred to me that actually, I already have that job.  I have good news!  You've won absolution from your sins and eternal life in a wonderful place called Heaven with a wonderful person called Jesus.  He is not only a great friend, He knows you inside and out, good tries and bad thoughts, and he loves you dearly.   You've won this through no doing of your own; Jesus just wanted to give you this prize because He's good like that. 

When we were handing out free cookies at the Grace Presbyterian booth at Spring Fling, many people would shake their heads no, they didn't want a cookie.  Now, maybe they didn't really, but maybe some of them did and they were just skeptical, thought surely there were strings attached.  Would we try to sell them something?  No, we gave out cookies like God gives out His goodness...just because we care, just because it's a joy to bring joy to people.

tip of the day

Did you know that if you rub balled-up pantyhose against your black t-shirt with white deodorant marks, the marks go away?  Amazing!  Liberating!  All of these years I've been changing shirts when I could have been rubbing myself with pantyhose.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Houses

We looked at a dozen or so houses today on the east side of Spartanburg.  None stood out as a clear winner.  We are too picky or we need to win a lottery, I'm not sure which.  When we got home around 5ish, after leaving our realtor about as tired as we were but without the emotional stress, I looked over the lesson I was about to teach to my 4th and 5th graders.  It was about the tenth commandment, not envying your neighbor, or his house, and I knew that the Holy Spirit was giving me a subtle smack on the top of the head to remind me that He was still taking care of us, even in a house hunt which looks to stretch on with no end in sight.  I needed that!

I have a problem

I don't know how to stop checking out books from the library.  I was there, ostensibly, for the children, because they have standardized testing this week and need some good books to read in the down time.  But I saw the new book by Elizabeth Kostova and my fear is that I would never see it again.  The horror!  So I checked it out.  Her book The Historian was a massive work of fiction, but so well-written.  I loved it.  And I also checked out two more books by Laurie King .  Now I, at this point in my life, don't even have time for deep cleansing breaths in the car pool line.  I know there is no way I can throw a little light fiction in life's mixing bowl (which seems to be set on super-high).   But I need books like other people need conversation, and the library is so great about giving them to me for free!  I cannot help it.

Envy

Recently I had a conversation with a friend whose life, as far as I was concerned, seemed to be better than mine in every aspect.  She and her husband were doing well financially, they loved their cool, trendy hometown (sorry, Sparkle City), they had plenty of close friends and family nearby, and they were both skinnier than they used to be.  When I have conversations like that, I am speaking warm words of encouragement and celebration ("you lost another 10 pounds!  without even trying!  how fantastic!") on the outside, but on the inside, I am talking to God and to myself, back and forth. 

To God I say, "Help me to be genuinely happy for her.  Please rid me of selfish ambition and vain conceit."  To me I say, "Stop it!  Stop it!  Act like a Christian, for crying out loud."  After a little bit of this internal tug of war, the Holy Spirit prompted me to completely forget about myself.  To not even think of my life, and to only be concerned about hers.  And by His grace, I was.  Then she asked me how I was doing, and I had to think about myself.  I tried to be honest (anxious! doubting! eating too much!), but to include all of God's gracious provisions to me.  Because He is good, He is so good, and like the ancient Israelites, I forget his goodness and focus on my never-ending, never-satisfied wants. 

In Numbers 14, the Israelites say, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert!  Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?  Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?"  This after the plagues, after manna, after the parting of the Red Sea, after quail, after their feet did not get tired and their clothes did not wear out.   The Lord is indeed slow to anger and abounding in mercy. 

"I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God.  I am the LORD your God." - Numbers 15:41