This fact can sometimes send me into panic mode. I want to grab up everything I hold dear and keep grabbing...more time, Lord. I need more time. I so want to do it all, and do it well. And it sends me to my knees, this inability to keep all my plates spinning in the air, how I miss the sweet moment with my son because I'm distracted by the cobwebs in the den, how I neglect my prayer time to read my email, how I wish I could just spend a day or two doing nothing but reading all of the books stacked up by my bed. And then (and this is funny) there are books I want to re-read and I think, I can't, I'm already almost 40 and look at all of the books still left for me to read!
And that is just the beginning.
We were made for more than this, I can feel it in my bones.
We were made to be perfect, we were made to live forever, we were made to enjoy life completely, fully. You know how even our best moments are tinged with sadness? Even the very best moments have a little of the bittersweet in them, because they are so fleeting, often still a little dirty with selfishness.
I am looking forward to a place I don't know and yet I do, a place with plenty of room for everybody, a table that is full of the very best food, a sing-a-long full of people from all over the world. We'll all understand each other, finally speaking the same language again after so many years...indeed, our eyes will light up when we see each other, because we know that we all share the same feeling of excitement, of joy and of love.
A place where Someone will come up to me and wipe the tears from my eyes, tears that no one else has seen, a place where wrongs are made right, where everyone can run as fast as the wind and no one cares who wins the race because really, everyone here has already won. Where trees grow lush and full of fruit (I would like to go ahead and put in a vote for peaches), where sparkling, sweetly-singing rivers laugh and whisper truths I already know in my soul.
Where there is plenty of time to read all of the books, to paint and to sing, to laugh and to dance, to do the very best work that only you can do. Oh yes, there is such a place and I will be there for eternity. To think that life on earth is all the existence I was made for...it just doesn't make sense.
AND THEN, on top of all that goodness, will be the best Friend and Father, my King and my sweet Brother. No longer will I have to wonder, because I will see Him as He is. I look forward to a great big bear hug, a grin, and a kiss on top of my head.
Oh friends, if you read this and think I'm wrong...let's talk about it. But think, and listen to your heart and to your heart's longings. Everything, everyone was made for better than what we have right now.