Suddenly I See

Isn't it amazing to think that every morning we get up, get dressed and ready for the work to be done that day and all around us life is being played out on a grander scale than we realize?  While we brush our teeth, someone's first baby is born.  As we look for matching socks, a wife wakes up to an empty bed because her husband just packed his bags and moved in with someone else.  When we make the grocery list, a high school freshman is crying quietly in the bathroom because no one likes her, and her parents are too busy to notice her loneliness.  Despair and joy, laughter and tears...around us every day, and we are often unaware.

I turned 37 a few weeks ago, and birthdays can cause us to re-evaluate life.  And a trend that I've noticed in my own life is that I don't really care about other people.  I mean, I want them to do well, and I wish everyone much success and happiness, but at my own expense?  I don't think so. 

Our pastor preached yesterday on Jesus healing a blind man, and he asked the question, "If you were blind, how would you know?"

How do you explain sight to a person who has been blind all of their life?  I had never really thought about that before.  And everyone's vision is impaired to varying degrees, isn't it?  II Corinthians 13:12 says, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face."  Then refers to a day in the future when our time on earth is up, but I am praying to see more and more of God's goodness and glory now.  Because I am finally learning, or God is continually bringing home to me, that until He is beautiful to me, serving Him is duty and not choice.  Isn't it funny how God has to bring that same thought into your head about 48 times in the same day before you realize, "Hmmm...I think this must be the Holy Spirit talking here."

I must say, I think John Piper (read Desiring God and see what you think) got it right.  Why would anyone want to be a Christian if all they get is, "STOP doing all of the fun things that have made life worth living all these years and START being good! Now!"  That is duty.  But "Let me tell you about One who healed my disease, who fills every void in my life with goodness, who knows me and delights in me and is every day making me more into the person I am supposed to be..." That is choice.

I am tired of being afraid to fully engage with other people, to make their problems my own, to love them like they are my mother, brother, child even though they may be complete strangers.  I feel like for 37 years I have lived on the fringes of life, unwilling to say hard things because someone might not like me, unsure of how to reach out to someone so just not reaching out at all.  I pray that I might see, really see the people around me every day, get a glimpse of their struggles and hear God tell me, "You see what I've shown you here Susan? There's someone who needs my love, and you can give it to them.  I'm going to help you, but you've got to go to them.  I'll be with you; don't be afraid."  I want to live the life He's given me, and jump right into the middle of it with eyes wide open.  I want to see.